From the Office of Doctrine & Dogma

From The Ivory Tower

A monthly column by Professor Franklin Blarney, FizzD

Jesu-Wit sophist serves the cause: "Ad Marj-orem"

Challenges have been issued to the SNO High Ecclesiastic Council by certain unnamed scoundrels and critics, to ANSWER THE QUESTION as they put it (http://www.sno-answerthequestion.com/). Up until now the High Mucky Mucks have chosen a stance of aloofness and being above the fray, but it has become obvious they don’t answer because they have no answer.

Therefore Pater Murray of the Enforcement Office of the Inquisition has come to me as I am the chief Apologist and Defensor Fidei for the Cult, that I might apply my decent and gentlemanly atom-splitting discursive skills to answer these heretics.

Padre Prime Cut, of the Office of Indulgences

It has been repeatedly asked of me to explain how we could excommunicate a faithful member of the flock for speaking of subject matters regarding sacraments that actually work, instead of the grape juice we serve in the communal abbey. The answer is simple. To speak such is forbidden by our dogma as promulgated thru the Blessed Mouth of St. Marj the Intractable. It is simple, and all the faithful need not question the High Council of the Bored when they speak ex cathedra. Just believe and obey.

However, this satanic blight is spreading across the land. In Oct 2012 the University of Pennsylvania dared to hold an academic conference on psychedelics called Psychedemia (www.psychedemia.com). As if it weren’t bad enough that credentialed scientists, medical doctors, clerics, psychologists came and presented research at this witches Sabbath, some turncoat apostate government leaders are calling for a cessation of war on this front, and for continued open discussion.

This year the contagion spread to Oakland Ca where the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (www.maps.org) held another Luciferian conference attended by1500 + academics and lay people, boldly named Psychedelic Science 2013.

What they're afraid of: the Devil's own handiwork

Need I remind you, the faithful, that you MUST NOT under any circumstances allow yourselves to look at, read about, discuss, or even think of, such heresies. There is only one truth at the School of the Numinous Ontology, the Word of the Father (hallowed be Vitvan who sits upon the Throne watching over his children), that as interpreted unto you by the High Ecclesiastical Council of the Bored, and through the holy mouth of St. Marj of the Daughters of Vinegar.

Alas, many in their weakness have been tempted to gaze at these forbidden scriptures. Therefore, I Brother Franklin the Scrutinary am having sent to me the DVD presentation of this scurrilous University of Pennsylvania Conference. Never fear, I will examine it and proclaim to the Faithful WHY we must never allow such discussions here for fear of corroding our souls; and HOW we can successfully defeat any such challenges to our Untouchable, Inexpressible, Unexaminable, and Unflappable Dogma.

Be at peace fellow parishioners. I did not study at the Jesuit School of Obfuscation for naught. I shall report back shortly as to how to defeat this Satan and his diabolical challenge. But if I cannot fathom out an glib repost, then I will evade the question as usual.

Inquisition Supporter Daniel Halfawake the Bishop of Babble-on

If you think this demon is holy, you'd believe anything,...such as that Wet-no-more, the Whore of Babble-on, is not a witch.

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